Emerald Green
by Chance33
Summary: EPOV of Deep Blue. Unravel the mystery and get Edward's side of the picture as we figure out what's going on in that head of his.


**Hello beautiful readers! So this is the updated EPOV of Deep Blue. Please, read Deep Blue by Chance33 (me) first if you haven't already!**

**I don't own Twilight characters. But this story and other characters are mine.**

Chapter One

Numb

Deep Blue.

Never had a color been so tangible to me as it was in that moment. The lustrous color embodied me as it breathed life into my lungs and pulled me forward to face a dream. I was seven years old, and the sun was shining brightly outside in our backyard as I confidently strode around the patio by the pool. I held my father's silver watch carefully on my wrist, my wrist was two times too small for the stolen watch to properly fit, and with practiced steps I imitated his walk that I had carefully admired and observed growing up. He took long, slow, powerful strides, and they had always exuberated purpose. Whether he was receiving a patient at the hospital where he worked, or going to scoop my mother off her feet and embrace her with a kiss, or going to throw the football in the yard with me, he held himself in a way that showed the importance of each step he took. With my chin held high, I took a daunting step on the edge of the pool as I evaluated the back yard, my hands clasped behind my back as I wondered what the day would bring; what victims would visit my domain, and what faceless monsters would I battle to save them from? Heel to toe, I took another step, only to have my foot slide off the edge and into the pool. I grasped at the empty air to find a sense of balance, and the nice silver contraption fell from my wrist into the pool with a deafening thud. My heart fell into my stomach as a loud shout tumbled from my lips, and I fell completely into the pool, ruining the nice white button-down shirt I had put on to better portray my role. I sputtered out water from my mouth as I resurfaced. I heard the doors to the house open and close and ducked back under the water to hide from my shame of falling. I retrieved the watch from the bottom of the pool and stared at it under water, the hands on the clock no longer moving. In need of oxygen, I came back above water, and a loud splash sprayed me in the face as my father jumped in the pool next to me.

He resurfaced, a crinkled smile on his face as he swam next to me and shook his head fighting off laughter. His teeth were so white and straight, and I kept my lips locked together to hide the gaps in my own mouth that showed the loss of my baby teeth, and the absence of the new teeth that had not yet replaced them.

"What are you doing Edward?" He laughed now, and I couldn't help but notice how we matched. His white button-down now soaked as he undid the top few buttons.

I looked down at the watch that was still wrapped in my hands just below surface. Heat warmed my cheeks as I fought not to cry from the shame that overwhelmed me. I'd ruined dad's watch.

"I was just walking around and I slipped in the pool." I couldn't lie to my hero, and I pulled his watch out of the water so he could see it. "I'm so sorry dad, I swear I didn't mean to drop it." A few tears spluttered down my cheek as I hung my head, physically incapable of witnessing his grin fall from his face and disappointment cloud his features.

The watch left my hand as steady fingers gently removed it. There was a moment of silence, and I peeked upwards to see him looking at the watch and then turn it around, and finally a smile broke out along his face. He set the watch on the side of the pool and laughed now.

"Come here son." I finally looked up into dad's eyes and he shook his head, "The watch is going to be okay. It just needs a new battery. Now why are you all dressed up and wearing my watch?"

"I want to be just like you dad."

He grinned down at me and then bent down in the water so that we were face to face.

"Then climb on up!" His green eyes shined, and he gripped my hands as I climbed on his shoulders. He stood up straight and tall and spun around in the pool, each turn lessening my previous shame and embarrassment until they were completely gone. My face broke into the familiar, easy grin that my dad was always able to bring out of me. I extended my arms outward to embrace the air as he moved beneath me and knew that with him lifting me up, that I could capture the feeling of flying.

No, this was no dream I was experiencing, but a memory. My thoughts drank in his words, his smile, and the sound of his laughter. My dad had helped lead and encourage me to the path of becoming the person I had always dreamed of being. However, the guy that I had truly become after nineteen years was a tainted and distorted version of the guy I used to dream of being like. Lost was the innocence that comprised of my boyhood and youth. Now in its place were death, pain, and tragedy that only the sorrows of life could bring someone.

The deep blue color returned to the forefront of my mind with the ending of my memory, almost as if it was caressing the memory and stowing it back away in the deep recesses of my mind, having accomplished its goal in showing my past to me. There was a swirl of a grayish tint in the dark blue, but overall the color overwhelmed my mind as a blanket that calmed my thoughts. I couldn't help but wonder what the stunning color that had enlightened my soul could have possibly been from, but the buzz of my phone awakened me. My eyes flashed open to meet the brightness of morning streaming in from my window, and I slid my finger across the phone to turn off the alarm.

The night before had been a rough night. I could tell by the aching in my head, the dryness in my throat, the disgusting taste that lingered in my mouth, and the tingles that traveled through my body. Wait, no. That was a new one. My hangovers usually included exhaustion and soreness, not tingles. I took a minute to evaluate the tingling feeling that coursed through my veins, and deduced that I felt… Alive.

I frowned as I recognized the excited energy from this new revival in my soul. I knew that I needed to block the feelings that it produced. They opened one up to a vulnerability that I wasn't able to handle. I needed to return to my usual comfort of numbness.

These last three years had been a mix between numbness and not caring for me. Things were a lot easier to handle when you didn't care about the outcome. Life was hard, and people were inherently selfish. Society lived to please solely itself. The sooner everyone realized it, the better off we would all be.

I mean… I had stuff going for me. I was currently attending Whitlock University, a prestigious yet large university down south in central Texas, and I had been recruited on their highly ranked football team as a running back. Girls had always been attracted to me, so I figured I hadn't been lacking in the looks department either. I had some good guy friends already that were on the football team with me, three of them were my current roommates, so I always had company when I wanted it.

But even with all that, I just didn't care about a lot of shit. I didn't give a damn about any of those girls. I didn't care if I hurt someone or what they thought of me.

That's just how I was.

I got out of bed and took a warm shower. I was standing under the water, letting it rain down on my face when I closed my eyes and saw the deep blue color again. It was clearer in my mind, less hazy and more defined, sharp as a knife as it cut through my thoughts. I still was unable to discern where the color was from, but it accelerated my heartbeat and shortened my breath. I abruptly opened my eyes and quickly finished my shower. Disturbed by the effect a mere color was having on my psyche.

After the first day of classes, I was planning to go to the gym for a bit, but my roommates, Steve, Jasper and Luke were all hanging out on the couch in the living room along with our friend, Brad, when I got home, and they convinced me to stay in for a while and chill.

"Man, at least you'll get to play some this year," Brad complained to me. It was incredible how we never tired of talking about football. I briefly debated telling him that he sounded like a little kid whining, and then thought better of it.

"You'll get your chance, just wait," I assured him, but the lie burned as it left my mouth. It had always been against my nature to lie, and I briefly thought back to the dream I had this morning. I had been incapable of lying to my dad about damaging his watch, and growing up I had always been a terrible liar at best. I swallowed and glanced away from Brad. I didn't even know if it was directly a lie, but I knew I was just telling him what he wanted to hear.

"That chick was hot last night." I heard Brad go on to comment to Steve. Brad had the tendency to always be obsessing over some girl or another. I fought the urge to roll my eyes when I heard him, but instead I focused my attention on checking my email on my phone.

Steve looked up from his hands, "Isabella?"

"Yeah, the brunette girl with those beautiful eyes. Her friend was too. Alice, right Jasper?" He nudged Jasper.

Jasper's eyes flashed at the mention of Alice. Brad noticed and laughed. Annoying bastard. I imagined ramming my fist in his face, and wondered if that would shut him up. Clearly, he didn't sense the negative thoughts that I sent his way as he continued to Jasper, "Calm down, you can have her. Isabella is more my type anyways."

I briefly wondered whom the unfortunate girls were that they were talking about, but I knew that if it was last night, I had been way too drunk to remember anything.

"What is your type anyways, Marshall?" Luke asked Brad.

We all laughed as Jasper quipped, "Anything with a pussy."

"Edward, you talked with Isabella, didn't you?" Steve asked me.

As soon as he asked I raised my eyebrows; Steve should know by now. "I don't remember."

Isabella, Susan, Carly, Tiffany… It didn't matter the name, they were all the same at night. They were all completely disposable and unmemorable.

My roommates all laughed and I joined, but deep down I felt how pathetic it really was. I couldn't have recalled the last night I actually remembered. I could no longer go a night without the comfort of alcohol to get me through it.

Numbness, Edward. I closed my eyes and forced my heart to slow back down.

Brad sighed. "That's a shame… I'm sure she had some fine things to say and do."

"She's not like that," Steve snapped, his tone colored with a little anger, and we all looked at him in shock as Brad's jaw audibly clamped shut. Finally.

"Easy there… Gotta crush Steve?" Jasper lightheartedly joked. Always the one who broke the tension and brought everyone back together. It was something I had admired greatly in Jasper when we had first met. He never failed to put everyone at ease around him.

"She's not like that." Steve repeated and looked back down at his large linebacker hands. He had a concerned frown on his face as he meshed his hands together. While it was unlike Steve to so passionately stand up for a girl like that, I knew that deep down he would defend who or what he believed in when the time was right to do so. It was refreshing to hear a guy defend a girl instead of just using her, and if she was capable of attracting Steve's loyalty then I knew she must have been worth meeting.

Jasper skillfully steered the conversation back to football, and nothing more was said on last night or the two girls that caused tension amongst us roommates. We continued through the afternoon watching football and Sportscenter. Then we headed out to practice for four long brutal hours.

By the time we were through with practice and I took another shower, I was both mentally and physically exhausted. Trey came by later that night, bringing the relief that I had been seeking.

I opened a light beer and took a swig. Trey had already had one and ushered me to the truck where some blonde female was and Trey gave her a kiss as we climbed in. I wondered how long he would keep this one around, but realized I didn't really care. I took another swig and focused on enjoying the beginning of the buzz that I would get from the alcohol.

I didn't really find pleasure in getting messed up every night. But it was much more enticing than my other option, of staying sober and drowning in the miserable pain. The drinks nulled my agony and suffocation. They helped bring the numbness that I longed for in every second of every day. I couldn't bear living life without the moments of relief that alcohol provided me with, and without something to free me from the constant darkness that resided inside my soul. The pain was always there. Inside my mind, my thoughts, my fucking heart. I felt it. And when I was drunk, I didn't feel any of it. I no longer felt any more pain, loss, sadness, or darkness. Even though it truly never left me.

I finished off the glass bottle of beer and watched the sweat drip down the neck of the bottle. Trey handed me another. I made sure we were going to meet up with Steve and Jasper and the rest of the guys. Not that I didn't trust Trey… I just trusted Steve and Jasper a lot more to get me home every night. Alive.

The last thing I remembered that night was pulling up to some frat house with blaring lights and lots of noise reverberating through the air.

The next week continued in the same monotonous routine. I did better at keeping the numbness all the time. The dream-memory that had haunted me before was long forgotten by the end of the week.

I briefly remembered agreeing to host a party at the apartment with my roommates. I got drunk before it even started. Jack Daniels and Trey were to blame.

That night it came back again.

Deep Blue. The sky was radiating the color as I maneuvered through the other players on the football field. This was our last chance to get a touchdown and with the ball tucked under my arm, I sidestepped one player and spun the next one out. I could hear the cheers that erupted from the stands on the sidelines as my foot crossed the line that separated my team from being losers to being winners. I ran back to my teammates and coaches and my back was slapped and I was lifted high in the air as they shouted around me. I then turned to look in the stands, my parents right in front yelling and cheering in pride, and I waved and yelled back, pumping my fist in the air. I was only a freshman in high school after all, and I led our varsity team to victory over the number one team in Washington State. I glanced up at the sky to the beautiful color to take in the moment and then turned back around, only to ram into a wall.

"What the-?" This wasn't part of my memory. There was a soft musical giggle and I turned back around in confusion, the field and bleachers gone, only to be replaced by a figure that I couldn't quite make out. I knew it had to be a girl by the femininity of the giggle that had shocked my ears moments earlier. She took a step closer to me, her features still too hazy for me to make out, but her eyes pierced my own and then she was gone.

Deep Blue. The same color that brought me to my knees and bore an odd mix of serenity and emotion. Only this time, I had found the source of the blue color as my dream had splashed the color on the most beautiful pair of eyes I had ever seen. The beautiful color belonged to beautiful eyes. Only, I hadn't remembered ever obtaining the pleasure of having seen those eyes with my own in real life.

After I realized the origin of the beautiful deep blue color, I dreamt about the mysterious eyes every night. They haunted me from dusk until dawn, and even longer if I wasn't careful with my thoughts. Every night I tried desperately to see around the eyes: to the face that held them. But I couldn't. I only saw those magnificent deep blue eyes.

**There were some minor errors that needed fixing with this chapter, as Deep Blue is being rewritten. **

**To sate my curiosity, I'm asking my readers to either leave a review or PM me if you would rather see chapter two of Emerald Green next, or the next chapter of Deep Blue so that I can spend my time accordingly. My focus lately has been on Deep Blue and getting it updated ASAP. However, if you readers would like more Emerald Green before Deep Blue I can spend some time updating it. I would love to give you wonderful readers a gift of choosing.**

**Thank you for reading,**

**Endless Love,**

**Chance33**


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